Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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