I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
