What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
