we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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