somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
