Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
