Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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