Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

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  (312): I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved. http://tfl.nu/f2dp
  Replies (5) Good night (3015) Bad night (898)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room

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  (403): I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room http://tfl.nu/da0x
  Replies (156) Good night (5532) Bad night (752)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.

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  (405): Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts. http://tfl.nu/kf4k
  Replies (16) Good night (4942) Bad night (1234)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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  (703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3
  Replies (7) Good night (4297) Bad night (1132)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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  (240): Just look for the house with the beer knights. http://tfl.nu/2986
  Replies (5) Good night (2173) Bad night (640)
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  (619): View more from California

  found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.

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  (619): found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham. http://tfl.nu/ri7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2730) Bad night (1353)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?

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  (301): I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun? http://tfl.nu/ilq6
  Replies (3) Good night (2821) Bad night (1142)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.

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  (412): There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever. http://tfl.nu/yvee
  Replies (12) Good night (3131) Bad night (800)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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  (386): he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it http://tfl.nu/bfv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1918) Bad night (1325)
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  (818): View more from California

  All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.

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  (818): All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since. http://tfl.nu/jafz
  Replies (7) Good night (1003) Bad night (1073)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Dude. Her vagina is a blender.

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  (928): Dude. Her vagina is a blender. http://tfl.nu/0shv
  Replies (19) Good night (579) Bad night (1931)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....

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  (303): As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak..... http://tfl.nu/pe8z
  Replies (1) Good night (967) Bad night (449)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.

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  (717): Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale. http://tfl.nu/0gl5
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (822)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.

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  (765): If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself. http://tfl.nu/9sig
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

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  (818): The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married. http://tfl.nu/19r4
  Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (245)

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