3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
