Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.

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  (405): Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great. http://tfl.nu/oipw
  Replies (53) Good night (3958) Bad night (1393)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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  (304): I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous http://tfl.nu/zxmn
  Replies (27) Good night (5466) Bad night (658)
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  (607): View more from New York

  flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final

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  (607): flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final http://tfl.nu/3a2h
  Replies (11) Good night (5206) Bad night (922)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.

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  (+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/njzt
  Replies (18) Good night (4987) Bad night (832)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

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  (401): His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/b9xq
  Replies (35) Good night (8480) Bad night (1382)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

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  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (6021) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.

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  (731): who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you. http://tfl.nu/e0pj
  Replies (39) Good night (5221) Bad night (2253)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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  (971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable... http://tfl.nu/8m1y
  Replies (12) Good night (3059) Bad night (1164)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think

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  (570): Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think http://tfl.nu/mpe0
  Replies (7) Good night (444) Bad night (1520)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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  (414): i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome. http://tfl.nu/5y9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1076) Bad night (401)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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  (919): Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out. http://tfl.nu/vb1r
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (411) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team

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  (703): We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team http://tfl.nu/0wyh
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.

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  (646): i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks. http://tfl.nu/tt2c
  Replies (5) Good night (320) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday

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  (413): Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday http://tfl.nu/bix3
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (220)

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