I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"