like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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