why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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