She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
