): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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