these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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