I want to have your abortion
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
