dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Randomize