so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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