I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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