i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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