just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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