I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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