Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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