I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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