So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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