come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
