omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
