if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You ate ashes out of my bong
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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