so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
