had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
