i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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