WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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