she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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