i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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