I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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