I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
