im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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