Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
