Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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