Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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