Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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