you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
