um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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