I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
