Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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