Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
