when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
