she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
