He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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