maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we're so committed to being not committed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
