Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
