I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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