Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize