I hate your face
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize