I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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