Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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