No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
ok first of all what the fuck
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
