and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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