You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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