i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
