Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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